Eh, I cried for the whole day last Saturday. Didn't bothered to write about it until today. I'm so tried,just frustrated about everything. Maybe my patience is not as strong as I thought it would be ; everything has its limits and I believed mine has already did. I just can't believe it has to be at this time, things just pushed you at a later time I guess. Finals is this week ; the last week that is, we started on the previous week. I really think I did my best. This is actually the first time in which I really feel confident about how I do because I really did revised. I didn't do that when I was in high school. I was one lazy-ass senior, really lived the rock star life of a high school student,haha.
Anyways, the thing I was frustrated about is how I'm not being able to do things that others could do around here. It just upsets me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not that partying girl kind of type,but like everyone else ; I do want to enjoy sometimes, hang out with friends and all. But I can't, my father is paying for me privately so I have no choice but to budget at his limits.I understand that well,he's going through some hard times for me,and I don't mind going through it with him. To be honest,I can't even save up some money for myself cos in the end of the day,I always use them for necessities so that I won't ask my father for more cash.

But sometimes my friends just don't get me, even my own best friend doesn't. I know,it's not easy having someone saying no to your invitations or requests, but I'm sure it doesn't hurt one bit to understand it? Even some just feel offended or tired of listening my same damn reason. It's not a reason ; it's a fact. Read my lips.

It might seem like a small issue, but once you're in my shoes, you'll get the sadness of it. People can just enjoy their days with their loans, in which I don't mind at all but please, just because you have one doesn't mean you can't give a bit of understanding for those who doesn't? I never cared about it at all,but once your own best friend doesn't give a shit about you; wow it's totally a pain in the mothafuckin ass. This is just one of the reasons why I can't wait to head home. Things are okay here, but home is where I can lead a normal life. No,I'm not living a normal life here; I'm living a life of a dreadful college student. All I do here is get online pfffft cos I can't head to somewhere else (probably just the hypermall near my house and that's about it lol.) Eh,I'll be okay.

I am going to blame this partially on my coming pms;
but I also need to rant so there you go. :)


mood : crushed.
song : one sweet love by sara bareilles.

Labels: frustration